Personal Growth Princess » Happiness

Quote from Thomas Leonard

Nina East — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 18:37:48 +0000

A quote from a favorite mentor and role model:

“Get your personal needs met, once and for all; if you have
unmet needs, you’ll attract others in the same position.”

– Thomas Leonard

3 Simple Actions That Lower Your Stress Level

Nina East — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 15:35:32 +0000

If the hustle, bustle, and challenges of everyday life are making your stress levels inch up each day, you must find a way to break free! Holding onto the stresses of yesterday will simply add to the tension of today and tomorrow. Soon the amount of pressure you carry around inside you from this stress may become unbearable.

You work hard to provide a good life for yourself and your family, but stress can prevent you from enjoying that life. Don’t allow stress and worries to rob you of the happiness you deserve!

Follow these easy strategies to help you banish daily worries and stress:

1. Ask for help. If you’re constantly running on empty, your mind, body, and soul will suffer the repercussions of your tenacity. There’s no shame in asking for a helping hand. Sometimes, you’ll be able lean on a spouse, coworker, or friend, but other times you may have to hire help.

• If your mounting responsibilities are barely allowing you the necessary time to eat and sleep, you may have too much on your plate. Streamline your responsibilities by creating a time-effective plan for crossing the items off of your to-do list in less time.

• Most people are delighted to be needed and will be more than willing to help you. If housework is the culprit of your stress, divide the tasks equally amongst the family members in your household.

2. Set aside time for yourself. What do you enjoy doing? Knitting, relaxing in a bubble bath, drawing, lounging in bed watching reruns of the Golden Girls? Indulge yourself in your favorite lazy activity a few times each week.

• Carve out a few hours each weekend to indulge in your favorite lazy activity. Choose at least one weeknight to relax after work. Sitting in a candlelit bubble bath while listening to your favorite CD and reading a magazine is an effective treatment for washing the day’s stresses away.

• Refrain from feeling selfish for taking time for yourself. You may be a busy professional, a spouse, a parent and have a home to maintain all at the same time; however, taking two hours now to de-stress will save you from going into overdrive and possibly stressing out your loved ones later.

3. Socialize! Making time for socializing with friends and family is a vital aspect of managing your stress levels. Friends and family make you laugh and provides you with a shoulder to lean on. This, in itself, will deplete your stress levels exponentially.

• If possible, designate one day per week (like Sundays) to spend time with extended family and friends. You could host a neighborhood barbeque in your backyard, host a Sport Sunday gathering, or simply have coffee with your closest pals.

• Living far away from friends and family can truly dampen your ability to socialize. You can meet friends at church, neighborhood gatherings, at the park with your kids, or on the community meeting site, MeetUp.com to find a group of likeminded folks.

• When hosting events in your home, avoid fretting about the details. This will counteract your efforts to de-stress! Have a simple plan, such as using paper plates, napkins and plastic utensils for easy cleanup. Perhaps you can order pizza rather than cooking.

Stress seems like a normal part of life, but it doesn’t have to be that way if you’re willing to put your own health and well-being as a top priority. Most of the time there’s a simple fix to the challenges that are causing you stress. Simply readjust the way you perceive the issues and how you address them. Both beauty and stress are in the eye of the beholder!

Are the Holidays Over Yet? How to Keep a Positive Attitude During Stressful Times

Change Your Life Today: No Cost Ways to Uplevel Your Life

Nina East — Mon, 07 Feb 2011 16:20:19 +0000

Put your money away. There’s no need to shell out a dime to change your life today. The smallest changes with a nonexistent price tag can increase your happiness tenfold and result in an increased quality of life immediately.

Try these suggestions to change your life today – no strings attached:

1. Start a blog. It may seem silly, but blogging has changed thousands of lives. Blogging provides you with a platform to be heard and admired, while you make new friends. On your blog, all of your thoughts are heard. Create a blog today by using our sister site BasicBlogSetup.com, or by using one of the many free services available online such as WordPress.com.

• Snag a theme for your blog that suits your personality. I recommend the themes at iThemes.com, especially Builder, (that’s the theme I use for PersonalGrowthPrincess.com0> I like Builder best because it is the most flexible and you can make it look virtually any way you want, without having to know any special web design skills.

• Blog about your hobby. Cooking, crafting, decorating, and fashion are all hobbies with a large blogging community. In addition, racing, fantasy football, and self-development are also equally popular in the blogging world.

• The easiest way to enrich your blog is to add photos. Add photos of your daily life or your hobbies. However, blur out all personal information (e.g. house number in the background of a photo) in pictures to protect your privacy.

2. Make the cut. Change your life in a matter of minutes by simply removing negative influences from your life. Those who bring negativity into your life, cause harm to you or your family, or make you feel uneasy should be chopped from your mental priority list immediately.

• Life is too short to wait around for unmotivated people to change their character. Some people only intend to channel negative energy. Keeping them around will only make the burdens, worries, and sadness in your life heavier. That doesn’t mean you are better than them or should look down on them. Rather, just remove the influence from your life.

• Choose on a case-by-case basis the best approach to take with each person. Some may benefit from hearing the truth and may hopefully realize your point of view. Others will simply be too stubborn to cooperate. The only person you can control is you. You may have to remove them from your life.

3. Tend to your health. Maintaining a healthy weight makes you less susceptible to a myriad of health issues. You’ll also look good, feel good, and increase your confidence by maintaining a healthy weight. Start changing your body today by becoming more active.

• Do it now. Why wait until tomorrow? Changing your life starts with this one simple step. Therefore, refrain from depriving your health the benefits of leading an active lifestyle any longer.

• Dust off your old shorts and walking shoes and go for a brisk walk around the park. Even if you haven’t been active for quite a long time, a brisk walk is gentle enough, yet potent enough, to make a difference in your weight if followed regularly.

• Get into the outdoors. It’s far more inspiring and rejuvenating to exercise in the great outdoors when compared to staring at the blank grey walls of a crowded gym.

As you can see, changing your life can require an action as simple as creating an account with WordPress.com or going for a walk in the park. The one thing required in all of the tips mentioned above is consistency.

If you simply start a blog, tell a friend that you’re parting ways, or exercise without any real consistency, you won’t experience a significant change. Start changing your life today and remain consistent for lasting results. If you want it, chase it; taking the first step can change your life forever!

Keeping Your Mental Health Strong During the Holidays

Nina East — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 17:39:33 +0000

The holidays can be a very challenging time. You may have concerns about weight gain, family members, work, money, and all kinds of other things. The good news is that, even with all these concerns, you can keep your mental health strong and vibrant during the holidays.

You can have great joy during the busiest of times with some positive choices. Joy comes from within, and taking control of your life brings you both confidence and joy. During the holiday season, though, it can seem like your life gets out of control very easily. There’s always so much to do, and people are generally more demanding of your time and energy.

Follow these steps to protect and preserve your mental health during the holidays:

1. Remember the value of quiet time. One of the biggest stressors you may have to deal with when the holidays are in full swing is the lack of personal time. It’s easy to get wrapped up in everyone else’s drama and not take any time for yourself. Take time for yourself so you have the energy to pour into others.

2. Take a few minutes each day to unwind and relax. You’ll be happier and more interested in doing things with others.

3. Find time to pursue your inner peace. You can pray, meditate, exercise, or just sit and watch some television or read a book. No matter what you do in your downtime, remember that having that time is vital.

The Busy Holiday Season is Only Temporary

The holidays require more of your time and effort, but the season will soon pass. Keep your head up when you’re doing all the extra things you have to do. Those extras will only be required for a few weeks. Things will be back to normal and your life’s balance will be more easily restored.

If you’re having trouble coping with the holiday season, do the things you’d normally do when the holidays are over. That way, you’ll feel more focused and your routine will be more familiar to you. For example, consider:

Exercising each day to stay fit and work off accumulated stress
Getting your work done on time, so you’re not frustrated and overly busy at home
Keeping your house clean, so you have less to do after the holidays are over
Eating right to provide your body with the fuel it needs for energy
Planning something special so you can relax after the holidays are over

There are plenty of ways you can keep your mental health strong. You can even say affirmations to yourself each day in order to help maintain a positive attitude. You may feel silly at first, but you’ll soon see the benefits of incorporating positive thinking into your daily routine. Take a few minutes each morning when you get up and before you go to bed to compliment yourself.

Your mental health and strength is very important to you and the people who rely on you. Because of that, you must keep yourself fresh and energized during the holidays. Focusing on what matters to you and paying attention to what’s really important go a long way toward keeping you mentally healthy.

Staying Positive When You Don’t Feel Like It

Nina East — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 16:17:05 +0000

Do you have days when you know it’s better to be upbeat and positive, but you just don’t feel like it? If you’re a human being, then your answer has to be yes. When you face challenges or feel overwhelmed by your responsibilities, it can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude.

The frustration, of course, is that staying positive is important for so many things in your life.

Here are a few techniques to improve your mood and experience the inner peace:

1. Start your day with something positive. Decide each morning that you’ll start the day headed in the right direction. Instead of waking up on the wrong side of the bed and setting the stage for a grouchy day, resolve to experience something positive first thing in the morning.
Seriously – be deliberate about it!

Develop a morning routine that you can repeat daily to ease into your day’s responsibilities. Determine what activities help improve your mood and put you on the path to positive thinking. Find two or three things you can do each morning that will set the stage for a successful day. As these become habit, add to the routine little by little.

A routine will help your body and mind settle in and focus on what you need to accomplish. Instead of rushing around or forgetting important details, your plan will guide you through a peaceful set of steps that calm your mind and create unstoppable momentum.

2. Set exciting goals. If you wake up each morning with nothing to look forward to, your mind may quickly latch onto negative feelings that can last throughout the day. And the downward spiral begins…Give your life focus by setting goals that motivate and excite you. Write those goals down and review them every day. Each day, take some small action that brings you closer to attaining your goal.

Set aside a few minutes this week to write down all the reasons why each goal is important to you. How will you feel when you reach the goal you’ve set? How will your loved ones be affected? How will your quality of life improve?
Spend a few minutes each day reading through this list. A big enough “why” can help you to overcome obstacles that are in your way.

3. Surround yourself with positive people. If you want to feel better about your life, hang around people that encourage you and bring out the best in you. Spend more time with people that make you feel good about yourself and less time with those that complain about everything.

Every cloud has a silver lining and it’s easier to find that silver lining when you hang around people that help you to see it.

4. Remember that bad days happen. A friend of mine says “Life has mountains, valleys and missiles.” The “missiles” are the really bad days. When you have a bad day, don’t beat yourself up or dwell on it. Remember that tomorrow is another day with exciting possibilities and challenges. That sounds a bit cliche, I know. But it’s actually true, too. Your next victory is right around the corner if you resolve to start with a fresh perspective.

These suggestions will only help if you put them into practice. Pick one or more of them and decide that your happiness is worth small changes that lead to a big payoff. Begin to experience the happiness you deserve by taking positive steps today that will lead to a bright future.

What are some of the ways you stay positive, or get yourself back in a positive frame of mind?

Can your daily habits lead to happiness?

Nina East — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 15:38:31 +0000

Well, the first question should probably be “Is happiness required?”

It certainly seems to be the common quest – yours truly included. But is there too much pressure to be happy? Or maybe it’s that there’s too much pressure to be happy “the right way”.

Pink Magazine had a recent post talking about the pressure women are under to be positive all the time – and how not being able to pull it off makes us feel guilty and…well…unhappy. A bit of the paradox, yes?

Their suggestion is to get in touch with your feelings – all of them. It’s only by authentically acknowledging all your feelings – the good, the bad, and the ugly – that you can begin to approach a consistent feeling of happiness.

I would argue that the ultimate goal is really to have a consistent feeling of PEACE, knowing that all is well and you are safe. That in turn will lead to moments of happiness. I am a happiness-advocate, for sure. But am starting to recognize how putting that much pressure on myself is actually making it harder.

Either way, it’s our daily habits that create our experience. So it makes sense to develop some happiness habits, but not stand by with a ruler to whack our hands if we don’t do them one day.

What about you? What’s your take on happiness? What daily habits help you manage your mood?

Leave a comment to share your ideas with other women.

Women are not as happy as they used to be!

Turning disappointment into joy [video]

Nina East — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 19:34:59 +0000

How many times have you been disappointed about something and had a hard time “letting it go”?

You might have been disappointed about the way something turned out…or disappointed in something about yourself…or disappointed that all your efforts didn’t pay off the way you were expecting.

One of the places disappointment shows up is when we haven’t achieved the success we wanted, or we aren’t “being” the person we want to be. That no matter how hard we try at something, we just can’t make it happen.

In the world of personal growth it often shows up as trying to be something you are not. This leads to all sort of issues – low self-esteem, frustration, lack of faith, depression, feeling like an imposter and fearing what will happen if people find out the ‘truth” about you.

Remember, though, that one of our mottoes at Personal Growth Princess is:

To be someone you are not is to waste the person you are.

Honoring who you really are – your talents, your skills, the things that make you happy, the areas you aren’t so strong in…all of it – is part of the process of turning disappointment into Joy.

And that, of course, is one of the keys to resilience and overcoming adversity.

I found this video that tells a perfect story of turning disappointment into joy – into truly overwhelming joy.
As you know, I’m an animal lover and donate a portion of all proceeds to animal rescue organizations, so it should be no surprise when you see the role a dog plays in this video.

What may surprise you is how moved you are by what you see.

As you watch…ask yourself, “Where am I trying to make myself something I’m not? What am I truly great at? What really brings me joy?”

I have no doubt you’ll find a remarkable and beautiful point of intersection between the skills you’ve gained by trying to be something, and the thing that really brings you JOY.

It’s only 5 minutes long. Trust me, you WILL want to watch all the way through.

Enjoy – and share your thoughts below in the comments section.

What would happen if you let go of who you think you “ought” to be, and instead reveled in knowing you are perfect just the way you are?

Wednesday WOWs – Words of Wisdom [personal growth quotes]

Nina East — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 22:30:24 +0000

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.
Gandhi

View other personal growth quotes (Wednesday WOWs).

Helping Kids Develop a Positive Outlook on Life

Nina East — Thu, 27 May 2010 14:02:45 +0000

For women interested in personal growth, the lessons never stop with ourselves. Everything we do and think has an affect on us, which in turn affects the people around us. Especially the children in our lives.

As Barbara Fredrickson discusses in Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life (the featured book summary for June – accessible on the members page starting June 1), a positive attitude isn’t just about feeling good. People who can focus on the positive have a greater chance of flourishing in life. They are healthier, more resilient, and more open-minded. (You’ll have to read the book summary to learn about the scientific research that supports those statements.)

I’ve never met a woman, whether she had children or not, who didn’t think about how the world, “real life”, cynicism, etc. affects the kids in her life.

When you equip children a positive outlook, you’re setting them up for a happy and successful life.

Think about it – who is more likely to be successful?

The girl who believes she can achieve anything, become whomever she wants, and follows up with swift action, or:
The girl who complains about anything, is indifferent about everything, and gets nothing done out of feelings of hopelessness?

Obvious, right?

You see, children have such an amazing ability to learn. They’re babies one day, and the next they’re learning language and life skills at a rate much faster than any adult can. This gives all of us the opportunity, and sometimes overwhelming duty, to help kids develop a positive outlook on life.

There are many things you can do each day to foster a positive outlook in children, but having a positive outlook yourself is the most important thing you can do to help them grow. Even if they aren’t your own children, let them know they make a positive difference in your life and love them unconditionally.

Keep the following tips in mind to help your children develop a positive outlook:

Lead by example. From a young age, children pick up on more than you know. While you may live by the notion that you should always put your kids first, you also have to concentrate on your own self-development. Because, when you think positively, so will your kids. (I probably didn’t even need to say this to anyone who qualifies as a personal growth princess. )

Watch your reactions. Just as with leading by example, you must watch your reactions, especially when things go awry. If someone gets hurt or you learn some bad news, it’s OK to be sad – after all we want to be real – but don’t sink into the urge to have a negative reaction. If you yell or outwardly worry, you’ll affect your children. Outwardly thinking about possible solutions is a great way to role model a positive attitude.

Teach children that sometimes things don’t go our way, but eventually the tides will turn.

Find the silver lining in challenges. As children learn and develop, they’ll be faced with all sorts of challenges. Some of them will be easy, while others are more challenging. Be sure to point out the silver lining in any challenge a child may be facing. It will help them develop resiliency and become more aware of possible options or opportunities.
(See the Wednesday Wow quote by David Neagle.)

Help children change their thinking. When a child is in the midst of a tough challenge, she may bring up the idea of giving up. Do your best to bring wisdom to the situation to determine if she just needs a little nudging in the right direction. Perhaps there’s an angle to the problem she just hasn’t tried yet.

Nudge them in the right direction until they find the success they seek.

Promote laughter. Laughter breeds happiness and positive feelings. Every child has a unique sense of humor. Play into their humorous side by promoting situations she finds funny.

You can play games, go to shows, or simply have a good time together.

I know that sometimes I spout out lofty goals. OK, so I do it a lot. But that’s because I’m on a mission – a mission to help women (and by association, everyone they know) how to love and appreciate themselves more; to recognize that to be someone you are not is to waste the person you are.

That’s why I’m talking about kids even though I don’t have any of my own. (I’m an enthusiastic aunt to a great boy and girl!) They are our future. And if we’re honest, we’d really like kids to not have to go through everything we’ve gone through.

When you treat children in a calm, loving, respectful manner, they’ll be more likely to do the same. And more loving, respectful people there are on the planet, the better.

In the end, there’s no right or wrong way to raise kids. Do what’s best for the kids in your life, in the way you know how. When you focus on positivity, kids will follow right along!

What suggestions do you have for helping kids develop a positive outlook? Leave a comment below!

Don’t Worry, Be Happy. Or is it the reverse?

Nina East — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 22:50:55 +0000

Don’t Worry. Be Happy. Nice little song from the late 80′s. Significant for being the first a cappella song to reach #1 on the charts. Perhaps also significant for getting stuck in your head. (Sorry.)

I bring it up because of a recent study published in Psychological Science which examined the question:

Is the happy life characterized by shallow, happy-go-lucky moments and trivial small talk, or by reflection and profound social encounters?

Popular wisdom, all songs aside, might make you think that the social butterfly who can flit from small-talk conversation to small-talk conversation, would be far happier than the group of people clustered on the couches having a deep meaningful conversation.

Ignorance is bliss, yes?

Not so, says this study – which is more reliable than previous studies because it did not rely on self-reported behavior.

Researchers found that higher well-being was actually associated with having less small talk, and having more substantive conversations.
(“Substantive” meaning a conversation in which meaningful information was exchanged. More along the lines of “I hear your new job has been really demanding. Tell me about it” and less “Oh, I love that dress! Where did you get it?”)

Here are some other interesting findings from the study:

The happiest participants spent about 25% less time alone and about 70% more time talking.

The happiest people also had about 1/3 less small talk, and twice as many substantive conversations.

From the report: “Together, the present findings demonstrate that the happy life is social rather than solitary, and conversationally deep rather than superficial.”

Of course, this was not a cause-and-effect study, so we can only take the results as correlational.

It could mean that happy people are natural attractors of deeper conversations, making people comfortable enough to talk about things that actually matter.
Or, it could be that deep conversations actually make people happier.

This raises the interesting possibility that happiness can be expanded or developed by intentionally having more substantive conversations, and resisting the temptation to stay at the “cocktail party conversation” level.

I think women have known this for a long time. We feel better about ourselves when we connect with other people, and if we can share something meaningful and important, we feel even more so. That’s not to say that a fun shopping spree doesn’t get the happy vibes going…but my guess is there are some pretty important conversations going on between dressing room doors.

Whether happy people naturally have deeper conversations, or deeper conversations make people happier, it’s good to know that both work in our favor. Personal Growth Princesses like deep conversations. We crave knowing more about ourselves and more about what makes other people tick. Maybe we are the best-positioned to get happy?!

I’m curious – what’s your take on this? Do you feel a greater sense of well-being after you’ve had a meaningful conversation, or after a series of surface level chats? Leave a comment below and let us know.