Having high expectations of yourself isn’t just about accomplishing more or achieving higher levels of success. Those are noble reasons, for sure. But perhaps even more important is that raising your expectations of yourself can bring you greater fulfillment.
Some might think that a woman who is vibrant and full of herself (as a Princess is naturally) would not have any issues about self-expectations. They might actually think her expectations are too high. In my decades of leading personal growth seminars I have found that sometimes it is the person who appears the most “together” and “accomplished” who needs some help dealing with her expectations of herself. She may look and be successful, but have some gaps in her levels of fulfillment.
You may remember that I personally named 2010 as The Year of Fulfillment. I did this in order to put Fulfillment front and center as the most important thing for me to focus on. (I invite you to do the same.)
Why am I focusing so much on fulfillment?
There are many things in this life we have no control over. Fortunately, fulfillment IS something we have control over. Fulfillment is a feeling, not a deed or action. And the great news is that you get to define what fulfillment means to you – your personal “conditions of satisfaction” for fulfillment.
The trick is to learn how to lead yourself to greater heights and deeper fulfillment without pushing yourself over the edge. It can be a fine balance, but one a Personal Growth Princess is up for. And, yes, you can feel fulfilled even when you didn’t “achieve” what you set out to.
While having greater expectations opens you up and make you more vulnerable to failure, there are big rewards too. It’s worth it in the end because a negative experience is still an experience that you can learn from. A positive experience may provide you with one of those life-defining moments that make you happy to be alive.
Here are some excellent ways for any princess to raise her expectations of herself:
1. Do difficult things. Contrary to popular opinion, princesses do not take the easy way out. Pushing your limits can only be achieved by doing difficult things. You might not find success right away, but when you do, it can be the starting place for doing even bigger and better things in the future. Accomplishing difficult tasks, particularly meaningful, difficult tasks, can’t help but raise your self-esteem, and by association, your expectations of yourself.
2. Expand your comfort zone. We princesses are all about treating ourselves luxuriously. But that’s not what we’re talking about here. Staying comfortable is another way of continually playing it safe. When you expand your comfort zone, you open yourself up to new and exciting things. You’ll then come to expect more from yourself just because you’re comfortable with more.
3. Challenge yourself. Set yourself up with a specific challenge or make a dare with yourself. If you’re dared to do something, you pretty much have to do it!
4. Take a survival course. Taking a survival course can show you how to get back to the basics. These courses are not just about basic survival, they can also teach you about yourself. You can learn more about your abilities and strengths, and then continue to challenge yourself in the future.
5. Learn new things. This is a natural for all Personal Growth Princesses. By definition, we love to learn new things. That’s why we buy all those books, isn’t it? Using your self-help book summaries is an easy way of broadening your horizons, and with new knowledge and skills under your belt, you’ll be able to raise the expectations of what you can do.
Having higher expectations for yourself raise your self-esteem. What you think you can achieve is very important because it decides what you WILL achieve. When you raise the bar, you enable yourself to do more and be more than before.
Try these strategies to help you raise your expectations of yourself and enjoy the pride and fulfillment that come with doing great things!
I’d love to hear what you try and how it works for you. Just leave a comment below!
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Nina, this is spot-on! I especially agree with points #1 and #2.
It’s in doing those difficult things and stepping out of our
comfort zones that lead us to a growth-producing place.
Yep – requires a bit of faith and trust since it usually involves doing something counter-intuitive.