I recently contacted a group of women I know who are committed to their personal growth, but who are also extremely busy woman – either as business-owners, executives, or working moms. Specifically I asked them what prevents them from attending to their personal growth as much as they want, or what keeps them from finishing the book(s) or audio programs they purchase. I was curious about how they manage the abundance of information, and what they do to inspire themselves to stay on track with their personal growth.

Hopefully their experiences will speak to you or give you some good ideas.

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What prevents me from attending a seminar or buying a book?
1) Personal growth fatigue (having done so much of it already) and
2) having so many books and programs that I haven’t finished yet!
Sometimes what gets in the way is feeling that I want to finish reading/doing the ones that I’ve already purchased.

Barbra Sundquist, MPA, IAC-CC
BecomeACertifiedCoach.com
Vancouver, Canada

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Sometimes it feels that my personal growth (even as a coach) has to take a back seat to the “serious work” of earning a living, maintaining relationships,etc. I notice it much less now as a coach than when I was in the corporate world, but it is still present. Also, I often feel that my desire to learn outpaces my ability to assimilate what I’ve learned. So sometimes I just need to “be” and let things settle. For example, I haven’t had a coach for a few months because I felt a needed some time to just take things as they come, rather than seeking to make things happen.

What prevents me from attending the seminar or buying the book?

Mostly the elements in the answer above. I’ve stopped (mostly ; )) buying books because I seldom go back to them, but I check books out of the library like crazy.

Somehow I 1) am more likely to read or skim it if I know it’s due back at the library vs owning it, and 2) give myself permission to just skim a library book, but seem to think I need to read my own from start to finish.

What is it that gets in the way? Primarily too many other shiny objects to pay attention to! The deadline of a library due date really helps me follow through. I don’t allocate time to read like I do to other things, so reading is something I do when I can fit it in, or when something grabs my attention and I put aside the other stuff (then scramble to catch up!).

Karen Van Cleve
www.KarenVanCleve.com
Lakewood, Colorado

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Fear. Fear of seeing ugly things about myself; fear of seeing exactly what I need to do to change; fear of feeling the sorrow of past slip ups and mistakes;

Time – sometimes I’m too busy helping others grow, from the Comfort Cafe to my daughter.

Honestly, it’s hard for me to find new information that is new to me. For me, it is not about taking in the new so much as practicing what I know.

Jennifer Louden

http://www.jenniferlouden.com/

http://www.comfortqueen.com/comfortcafe/

Bainbridge Island, WA

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Somehow, “work” always seems to be more important than personal development. I find it difficult even to slow down to do a short meditation for a few minutes. I was a member of a website for months, never did anything with it, and finally cancelled without having done any of the exercises! My brain “knows” that personal development will fuel my business development…but my anxiety over doing business NOW makes it difficult to let myself work on me. It’s self-talk fueled by depression…which as I write it, seems like a lame excuse

Terri Zwierzynski
www.Solo-E.com
Cary, NC USA

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I think at times I can allow “LIFE” to get in the way and prevent me from having the time to do what I need to do, like going to workshops or reading personal development stuff.
Life: is other things in my life besides me…husband, work, dinner, grocery shopping, grandchildren, parents etc….& email.

If I was to be honest…letting “LIFE” get in the way is a way or a place for me to hide out.
Hide out from me becoming powerful!  Because if I am a powerful woman, it might require too much of me and then maybe I can’t handle that or have what it takes to BE that.  I think it is my fears of being powerful that truly do hold me back!  I deserve more for myself!~

Sheri Rowland
www.HavingTheTimeOfMyLifeNow.com
Texas, USA

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As Global Director of Training for SalesPartners Worldwide I spend so much time training everyone else that it is difficult to fit in my own personal growth at times.  I do everything in my power to do whatever I can whenever I can to fill myself up and always keep learning and growing.

I do attend a lot of seminars in our business.  I buy business books but I don’t always finish reading them.  I read a chapter here and take out what I need then pick it up another time. Twice a year on vacation I pick up a non-thinking novel and if it grabs me in the first chapter or two I can’t put it down and love to get lost in a book every now and then. Once I’m hooked nothing gets in the way.

Audio series are good because I can listen on my way to the gym or while driving so listening to CD’s isn’t an issue.  I listen when I’m cooking or working in my office. I encourage all women to spend time on them.

I wrote the book Persistence Pays – How getting what you want is easier than you think.  It is about being persistent to get through the book or CD or just being persistent that if there is a seminar you want to go to and you can’t make it this year you plan ahead to make it next year.  If you have a friend who wants the same things take care of each other’s kids so you can both go at different times.  Put a little money away each week in a personal development jar and then when it is time to pay for books, CD’s, seminars you have the money ready.

Lori Raudnask
Global Director of Training
SalesPartners Worldwide
www.persistencepays.ca

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1.)On the occasions I find myself “slipping”, it’s because the structure or system I have created is either outdated or I have neglected it in some way. I then know it’s time to redesign or strengthen.
2.)Often times too many choices can make it overwhelming.
3.) Shiny object syndrome prevents me from sticking with something.

What usually keeps me from finishing a personal growth book I bought is getting busy “doing” and neglecting “being”. If my schedule keeps me running, my personal growth takes a hit! I have to make conscious efforts/decisions to take time for me.

Sometimes I have trouble staying focused on a personal growth concept and not hoppping from one to another.
note: This does not happen as often as it once did, because for the most part I inspect my environs regularly. It’s become part of my routine, like brushing my teeth. And I might switch toothpaste brands from time to time or floss more frequently on occasion (after popcorn!), like I will change/add a routine to my personal growth.

Natalie Tucker-Miller

http://ageless-sages.com

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Sometimes it’s about prioritizing my time and the tangible aspects (such as work, meetings, or appointments) seem to win.  Personal growth, while critical, can at times take a back seat because it can ‘feel’ as though it’s time consuming – even if it’s reading a chapter or attending a lecture.

As for books, they tend to accumulate in spurts and then it’s a matter of catching up.  Buying books simply for the sake of has gotten in the way in the past and winds up creating a feeling of overwhelm.  When that happens, rather than choosing one book and moving on to another, paralysis sets in and all of them sit unread for quite some time. A book can seem great in the moment, but unless I can really set aside the time to read it – and absorb the knowledge, it’s better that I hold off and not purchase it.

For seminars, it can often be a true conflict in my schedule and other times, I can’t seem to justify the time, expense, and effort involved to get there.

There are times when I will start to read a book and make significant strides and then I lose interest. It can feel as though I’ve gotten what I’ve needed and don’t need to read to the bitter end to get what I needed from it. Oftentimes, just keeping up with current events (reading) will take precedence over reading personal growth books and/or stop the reading process.  When that happens, it takes a great deal of effort to get back to it as opposed to starting another book with new information.

Marion Franklin, MS, MCC
www.lifecoachinggroup.com
Tarrytown, NY

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Thanks for the interesting question. Actually I find it quite difficult to answer.

I’m very selective when I’m choosing books or seminars to attend. So I won’t spend my time and money on books or information products unless I am quite sure I will get some important new information. And I won’t spend my time and money on seminars unless I am sure I will get some important experience …it has to be more than just information. So therefore, once I have a book, I am very likely to finish it. Often I borrow books, and so then my threshold for taking it is lower and I do sometimes decide to only flip through it rather than reading it.

I’m essentially a stingy person, an Enneagram 5, so I loveinformation but I hate waste. So I am selective on all expenditures of time and money.

I think part of the reason this is hard to answer is that I don’t really separate my personal growth activities from the rest of my life. My work as a coach is very stimulating in terms of my personal growth and it requires personal growth as ‘part of the job’. My volunteer work as a leader is even more stimulating for my personal growth. I see that all the activities in my life are part of my personal growth: exercise, friendships, recreation, relationships, work.

For my most rapid and positive growth, they all have to be in balance. It’s true that sometimes I think it would be wonderful to spend all of my time attending seminars, reading, listening, meditating etc. Money and responsibilities stop me. And handling those responsibilities are just as much a part of the journey towards my calling as anything else.

Angela Spaxman
www.LovingWorkandLeading.com
Hong Kong

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For me, the road to crowded bookshelves is paved with good intentions. I sign up for programs, download freebies and buy books because something in the message spoke to me in that moment.

Often, life just gets in the way of follow-up. There’s always something that needs to be done in my business, and when it’s finally time for self-care, I’m more likely to go for a walk or see friends- to play – than to study.

Other times, I find that the program or book or CD no longer has relevance for me. I’ve figured whatever that issue was on my own and am on to the next. It turns out that the personal development items that work best for me are the ones that I read immediately or that become part of a small reference collection that I go back to repeatedly. So many of the others are variations, repetitions or simply no longer useful.

Dr. Susan R. Meyer
www.susanrmeyer.com
www.mappingmidlife.com

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I am really self-disciplined and years and years and years ago, I had a professor when I was doing doctoral studies and he said to me, you need to have disciplined practices in your life each day.  Those practices need to focus on spiritual, physical, mental, emotional care for yourself and your soul.  He then went on to describe his personal journey of times when he thought he had it all together and could relax on the disciplines—it was never a pretty picture.   He went onto say, that if you pay attention to a set of practices everyday, you will never stray from the necessary self development in all areas of your life.

I sometimes, stray from the path, but by having systems and disciplines in place, I always get back to doing what I need to be doing to stay as healthy as possible.

Dr. Mary L. Heidkamp, CEO/President
Dynamic Insights International
www.dynamic-insights.com
Oak Park IL

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My first thoughts about what gets in the way:

Finances/money – there are loads of things/courses I’d like to do but I can’t always choose to spend money that way (and I know that sometimes its my stuff and I don’t think I’m worth it!).

Another reason I wouldn’t do personal growth is if events happen where in the moment I get too upset (at these times I think its great to have a trusted coach available for a quick “Help” session!

Time is another reason why I wouldn’t always do some of the things you mention for myself. Other things get priority or crowd in. I can’t/don’t always put myself 1st.

Also I have things like ordering books on my to do list and don’t always get round to ordering them/listening to them/reading them. Especially when other more pressing things happen (like clients to coach or tapes to mark!)

Alison Davis
www.foundationsforliving.com
St Tropez, France and Montreux, Switzerland

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On the positive side, when I am concentrating on something I’m really interested in, on a specific topic, I find I follow through.  I will screen out everything for a short while.  Ultimately, when I feel I am good enough, I enjoy that great moment until I get shaken again.

Seminars in Hong Kong are mostly held in the evening to catering people who have day time jobs. I know my energy and body condition works much better in the day time. I try to be selfish. Moreover, family time is what I treasure as my priority in the evening.

I have some friends who are crazy about reading.  I know they are better book choosers than I am so I usually ask them to pass the book to me after they finished reading. Then, we can also use the opportunity to share our comments and thoughts since we’ve read the same book. It is a way to save money, make connection with friends and avoid piling up books in the bookshelf.  There are too many already.

I prefer books to CDs because when I listen to a CD, I will fall asleep sometimes (if it is a 1-hour CD).  When I read books, I enjoy highlighting, writing my comments.

Bonnie Chan
www.coachlite.com
Hong Kong

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Sometimes I order several things at once, generally I am looking for personal growth in my work so that I can do my work more effectively … maybe I should order them one at a time and then I could focus better …

other times I read them as I need them, e.g. I am learning a lot through the Fiber 35 book regarding self care… and I find that I read different chapters at different times, I read just enough to get started, and now am filing in different places.

I might get right up to the day before the seminar or set a time to read the book, and something from my work or a friend shows up that needs attention and I attend to that.  I can’t seem to count on time I set aside.

In addition, I generally have several fronts I am moving forward on and it is difficult to focus on just one area …. Recently I am thinking about how to segment my work so that I actually have times when I follow through on each area without the other areas intruding.

Sometimes I read the first three chapters and they pretty much give me the gist of the book so no need to finish  … I don’t tend to get CD series though I got one on poetry 6 months ago, I am a sometime poet, and I listened to that while I was driving back & forth (several hours) …maybe I should get more CD series

Sharon Mulgrew, M.P.H.
Plays Well With Others www.sharonmulgrew.com
Emeryville, CA, USA

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As a rule I am highly focused and dedicated to all aspects of my life. But, having dealt with depression my entire life, there are times when I simply lack motivation. At those times I know what’s best for me yet may be unable to take action. In the past I would belittle and berate myself for the lack of motivation. But, with lots of support and encouragement, I now know that treating myself poorly only exacerbates the problem. So, with greater self understanding and patience, I’m better able to pull myself out of the muck and mire of depression more rapidly.

Alicia Smith
www.aliciasmith.com

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I have a “story” about my time.  I am protective of my time and my sleep, so if my own personal growth classes, books get in the way of my time, I ignore it.  I guess I need to go back and read David Allen’s Getting Things Done.  This will be my 5th read!

I am a “skimmer” and a “scanner”.  I skim through books to find the section I have not heard of before.  The last book I read front to back was Don Tapscott’s Grown Up Digital, because it was new information and new research that I had “somewhat” heard before, but his stories and his research are incredibly engaging.  The book had me glued to it for days.

So, once again, if I see a book, and if I flip through it, and I think “I could teach this book”, then I don’t bother.  If I listen to a CD series, if it’s the same old/same old, I trash it.  I do, however, pull out my old Zig Ziglar tapes and power walk to his tapes.  I don’t know why, but he just enchants me.  His speaking style is completely opposite of mine, but his information is timeless.  Everyone seems to have taken Zig Ziglar and just did a rip off job on their materials.

I also feel that where I really need to be focusing my studies right now is around the use of technology.  While there is certainly a personal development component to this, I have to say that learning new technologies is where the juice is for me.

So, again…if I am going to read something that is going to make my life better, I want it to be new and relevant.  I LOVE Harvard Business Review, and I do read that cover to cover.  It is mostly corporate focused but has several leadership articles that focus on development.

Bea Fields
BeaFields.com
BecomeABloggingManiac.com

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I don’t consider myself ever not attending to personal growth. It’s more of an approach to life that doesn’t have an on off switch.
When I don’t go to seminars or buy a particular book, it’s because it’s not the right time, I want to go to the bookstore in person instead, I don’t feel like travelling, I’ve budgeted my dollars that month, etc.

For me sometimes personal development is active… sometimes not so active…

Andrea J. Lee
AndreaJLee.com

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I’m not sure if I’m going to give the kind of answer you want because I ALWAYS attend to my personal growth.  It is above anything else.

I do 1hour of meditative prayer every single day, rain or shine.  I take time to look at myself and what needs to be changed and even when it’s hard, hard, hard, I do the work.

Because I really care about making a difference in the world, and this is the work behind the work!

I don’t go to that many seminars anymore and the books that I buy need to be really good.  A lot of personal growth is not new.  It’s more about doing it now!

I hope this helps any other woman that wants to grow.  It’s hard work but it’s the only way!

I try to think proactively and not reactively (just when I am struggling!)
You know, sometimes we really don’t want or need to read a whole book!  I just tried to read the book by Tim Ferris, The L-Factor and half way through realized that I’d gotten what I wanted in the first few chapters.

So I think you’re idea is right for the times, Nina!

Thanks for asking.

Annie Hart
Philadelphia, PA
www.anniehart.com
Stories Change the World

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This is a timely question for me as I’ve set up what I call my own “Blogging and Social Networking 101″ for myself.  I’ve immersed myself into the online world through the Blogging Maniac course, regular Twittering and LinkedIn.  It is exhausting, frankly, because every time you learn something new you find 20 more things you need to learn about.

I would say my biggest obstacle is time and the inability to say “no” to other demands on my time.   I download articles and order books and I don’t always get through them.  I’m on information overload right now and I’m starting another online seminar series today.  So, sometimes you just need to say “stop” to yourself.

Luckily, I belong to a peer group of women and we share ideas.  This is something I would recommend for any woman who is feeling overwhelmed by the demands of personal growth.  Also, you simply must carve out some personal time for yourself — I make time to play bridge and try to get to the theater and ballet as often as possible.  All this together is part of personal growth.

Jeannette Paladino
www.writespeaksell.com
New York, NY

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The more I have come to accept myself the way I am, the less need I have for other teacher’s perspectives on personal growth. I do my own work (and often publish it on my blog.) So much of what’s “new” in the personal growth field isn’t new or creative at all. It’s either very commercial or very basic. Sometimes it’s well done and I find it fascinating, but more often it isn’t. After 30 years of writing about personal growth I’m only willing to spend my time on something I find wonderful.

Laurie Weiss, PhD, MCC

http://www.IDontNeedTherapy.com/blog

Littleton, Colorado

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I don’t attend to my personal growth when I feel the path is suppose to be more spontaneous. I check out of resources, books and programs to go within and then come back to new or previous personal growth resources that support where I’m at with in the process.

I usually buy only when I have very high recommendations from a select group of women I know and trust. Sometimes something serendipitously appears, too. I love it when these cross my path.

At times finances may stop me from attending a retreat or seminar. I have also wanted to buy Rosetta Stone forever… the price stops me. I still haven’t bought it.

I take what I need from the resources and grow. If I don’t finish it, I wasn’t meant to.
Gosh, it’s great to answer these. I realize what a different path I am on today from 10 years ago. I would have had completely different answers.

Julie Hunt
www.shesite.com
Pennsylvania, USA
formerly San Diego, California

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What keeps me from tending to my own personal growth is trust – trust in others and in myself. I’ve trusted other people to be better resources than they turned out to be, leaving me skeptical the next time someone seems like they will be a good resource. Trusting myself means questioning my ability to absorb what’s offered, sort what’s useful to me, and implement that usefulness into my life. The partial book or CD, missed seminar, or shortened consulting experience may be all I needed to take steps in my development. Every experience has something to offer. A bad apple just slows things down a little for the moment.

Paulette Ensign
www.tipsbooklets.com
San Diego, CA

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