When did “Princess” become a bad word?

When women hear about self-help book summaries, they are typically very excited and can’t wait to sign up. When they hear the term “Personal Growth Princess”, which is, simply, self-help book summaries taken a little more lightheartedly, they have one of two responses – they either love it and embrace the joy and playfulness inherent it, or they are turned off.

I find that fascinating. Not because a particular name or brand doesn’t appeal to someone – that’s actually a sign of a great brand. It’s good that people recognize themselves in a brand or not.

What I’m fascinated with is the vehemence with which some women react to the word Princess – separate from any association with self-help book summaries. It’s as if it’s degrading.

I’ve got to wonder, when did the word Princess become such an insult?

I think it happened somewhere between childhood (when it was OK to think about princesses) and our first jobs – when we had to buckle down, get serious, and get others to take us seriously.There was no room for being playful and taking ourselves lightly. Believe it or not, I was once told by a colleague that no one would take me seriously because I smiled too much. (I was working in the field of education at the time.) Imagine how much you would start to hide your true nature if you thought that were true!

No wonder we learn to hide who we really are!

The term Princess is often used by judgmental people (both men and women) to tell a woman she’s asking for or expecting too much. That somehow she has stepped outside the boundaries of what she deserves and is getting picky or demanding. (I remember my sister being referred to as a princess when she bought a 5 year old Toyota Prism, that dared to have air conditioning, to replace her 10 year old, broken down robin’s  egg blue Opal.)

It’s this negative use of the word Princess that sticks with us and holds us back.

That is EXACTLY why a site dedicated to women being fully and authentically who they are, embracing the joys as well as the sorrows, relishing in the light and finding the value in darkness, is called Personal Growth PRINCESS.
(Read more about the true nature of self-rescuing princesses.)

It is because women DESERVE to have what they want.

We deserve the right to invest in ourselves. We deserve the time and resources to learn to love ourselves more, expand our greatness, and shore up any perceived weaknesses we think we might have.

And, dangit, women deserve the right to be selective about who we spend time with and what we spend out time doing.

We have the right to ask for what we want, the way we want it. We just do. That doesn’t make us snooty or stuck up. That makes us people.

Embracing the term Princess is a way of retaking control over how we judge ourselves, what we allow ourselves to experience, and how we let our inner joy and greatness shine through.

Princesses deserve. They just do.

Princesses have the right to make their own choices. They have the right to do what they want, while still honoring obligations. It doesn’t make us less responsible or overly self-indulgent. It makes us women with a bit of pizazz and sass who are committed to our own personal growth because we know that by committing to ourselves, we not only improve our own lives, but the lives of everyone we touch.

If you really want to go for a lighthearted way to re-frame what the term Princess means, take a look at the book series The Princess School. It’s a series of fun stories about the princesses you remember from childhood – Cinderella, Snow White, Rapunzel, etc. – but with a new, empowering twist. Here’s a quick summary of The Princess School series.

I’m curious…has the term Princess ever been used to make you feel ashamed or to get you to change your behavior? If so, what did you do? How did it affect you? Leave a comment below, or if it’s private, you can tell me privately.

Related posts:

1. What is a self-rescuing princess anyway?
2. The Princess School – the book series for empowered princesses